My Biggest Fears + Where Fear Comes From + How to Overcome Fear

where fear comes from

Hey friends! I want to talk to you today about FEAR and overcoming it. I think we live in a society that is very fear based. All of the news we are fed on a daily basis is almost all to make us afraid. I honestly think that their #1 goal is to scare us.

If you’ve known me personally for any length of time, you’ll know that I have an extreme fear of WATER. Then, some of you may have read my blog post a few months ago about walking on fire at the Tony Robbins Unleash the Power Within event and that may confuse you! How can I literally walk on fire and have a fear of something like WATER?

One thing I know is that fear comes from experiences. I’ve never had a scary experience with fire, so I’ve never developed that feat and anxiety with fire. Fire walking was scary, don’t get me wrong. My heart was beating so hard and I know that it was pure adrenaline that pushed me over those hot coals. But after doing the fire walk, it really opened my eyes to a lot. The process Tony took us through at his event taught us how to overcome fears. Walking over those burning coals made me feel like I could do ANYTHING. It made me feel like no matter what was scaring me, I could overcome it. It helped me realize that all fear comes from experiences. Sure, before the firewalk I kept repeating to myself about how could I possibly do this and not walk away with blistered feet, but Tony taught us how to overcome that.

The process Tony led us through helped us think through our fears. Think about what the worst thing we thought would happen… and visualize that image in our head. Then start to visualize that image getting smaller and smaller. That is obviously a very brief explanation of the process, but we worked on it for hours before fire-walking.

So like I said, fear comes mainly from past experiences. The childhood experience that I think my fear of water came from was when I was in our family’s pool, with my butt down in an inner tube float. I remember it being a pool party, and somehow I got flipped over. But my butt was so squished down in that tube, that it took me a moment to get out, and then, because the pool liner was BLUE, I couldn’t distinguish the top of the water! I couldn’t figure out how to get to the top! And I thought I was going to drown. So now I have a super intense fear of drowning, so I literally don’t even like to get my face wet in the shower.

That is just one example of how a lifelong fear can be shaped from one small moment. How we react to certain things can shape our entire life!

So to tie all this in, after Tony Robbins and walking on fire, I felt invincible and I felt brave. I told my husband that I felt ready to try white water rafting. He had been asking me to go for YEARS, but I always said no because I was so afraid. I knew that the only way to overcome a fear was to break the pattern. I was going to have to FORCE myself to do what I was most scared to do. You have to do the thing and create a new experience that your brain can link to. So we decided to go rafting and then it was official. And I was TERRIFIED.

The day before we went, I did a live Facebook broadcast [shared below], and I cried and was shaking and just generally terrified – and shared it all with my followers. That is getting REAL and being vulnerable, people! I mentioned how I wished it would thunderstorm, or that I would get sick, because I would have rather had a stomach virus than go rafting at that current moment. I was so scared.

But, I survived. And I actually kinda had fun. It wasn’t as scary as I had pictured in my head, which is the ENTIRE POINT. You’ve got to push yourself outside of your comfort zone, even if you have to recruit your husband or best friend to FORCE you to do the thing you are most afraid of. That is the only way to change your pattern of thinking in your head about your fear!


Here’s a pic to prove it 😀


My live FB broadcast from the day before rafting:


Tell me in the comments, what is YOUR biggest fear? How can you break that pattern?

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